I really like a close guy friend but I'm afraid to mention it to him b/c I don't know if he likes me...HELP!

Were really good friends but I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's always joking with me and my friends think he's flirting but I don't think he is. I think he's just being a friend. I really care about him and I don't want to lose him. I love it when were together and I it makes me sad to see him go somewhere. I don't know what to do b/c I can't help but hope he likes me even though I doubt it myself. How can you tell if a guy friend likes you? How do I know if I'm taking a good risk if I tell him? I don't want to ruin our friendship but I can't help but want more. Help!

I really like a close guy friend but I'm afraid to mention it to him b/c I don't know if he likes me...HELP!
Do you have a close girl friend that you can talk to about your feelings for this guy? One who won't go gossiping behind your back? Or maybe it is time to start keeping a diary or journal. Cause, if you tell him about your feelings for him, it may backfire on you.





Whenever a girl pursues a guy more than he is pursuing her, he will pursue her less.





Why should he risk failure when she is happy to pursue him? Automatically, he will relax more and become more passive about the relationship. Instead of thinking what she may want, he begins thinking more about what he wants. This turnaround is very confusing for a girl b/c her assertive approach is successful in the working place but backfires in a friends/relationship thingy. Leave things as they are..... let it grow and develop on it's own.
Reply:Wow, that sounds like a really stressful problem.


I wish I could help, but I can't even help myself. Which is sad. But it turned out okay for me, my guy friend was so kickarse that it was only awkward for a few days after he...um...kind of accidentally found out that I liiiiiiiked him. Long story, lesson learned. Don't get drunk and tell secrets.


I was lucky, I fell in love with someone who cared enough about me to know that I didn't want to talk about it unless he returned my feelings. And he didn't, so we don't talk about it.


Anywhooo, all I can say is you should probably go for it. I know you probably don't really want to, but you know what, you'll never know for sure unless you bring it up.


And don't pull that dumb middle school trick and get a friend of yours to ask him, that's really annoying. Nobody likes other people nosing around, asking them questions about their feelings, especially not a guy.


So, as much as you would probably hate to do this and you hyper-ventilate at the very thought of it, you gotta ask him.


You can't play it safe, you just have to go for it.


Worst comes to worst, you'll get some valuable life experience to share with your friends when they have this problem later on.


But be careful, think about it for a minute. It could be better if you told him and got it over with. If he doesn't like you, you can move on. If he does, you get to smooch him.


Just don't let it get so bad that you obsess over him, that's not a flattering quality to develop.


So, I wish you luck, and I hope you can figure this one out.


Matters of the heart are always so darn complicated.


-Sam

radiata