Friend thinking about having an abortion b/c they do not have money to raise the child?

My friend is pregnant. She and her husband had an unplanned pregency. They are financial in a bad place and having the baby will put them in a worse financial situation. She is thinking about an abortion. She is worried that she and her husband are not ready for a baby. They do not make enough money for daycare, diapers and etc.She went to a center they reassured her everything will be fine. I have a small child and know what the real cost of having a child is. What should I tell her? I know having the child will be great but at what cost? I am scared that they may start fighting b/c they don't have enough money to cover for the child expense.

Friend thinking about having an abortion b/c they do not have money to raise the child?
Why did they not have more responsible sex to start with?





I am 41, so most of my friends have children. Few if any planned the pregnancies. Most had, them when they were “dirt poor”. I watched them go through the financial hardships, for a lot of years. You guessed it, most of them never went to college until they were in their late 30’s, because they spent their younger years poor, and living in pretty bad neighborhoods.





If your friends are financially strapped, and they have the baby, they may very well have to move to cheaper accommodations. If they do so, they place themselves in greater danger, not to mention their child.





If they are so irresponsible, maybe the hubby should just get a vasectomy, when she gets the abortion. This issue will never return. That is what I did. I went on to collage, and have traveled the world. Such is a much better lifestyle.
Reply:First of all there is alot of help out there but resorting to an abortion is just cowardly, They shouldn't be having sex unless they are responsible enough especially knowing that they cannot afford a child. There are better things to do , give the baby up for adoption their ar plenty of couples out there that would love a baby and are financially secure. There is WIC , foodstamps , medicaid all kinds of government help. I think you should talk to your friend since you have a baby .
Reply:Ask her about putting the baby up for adoptions.There are many people that can't have babies but will love to adopt babies.Some adoption agences will help her and them though their medical costs but in the end have to give it up.That's the hardest part.Tell your friend to pray and ask Jehovah to help her decide.
Reply:What do you think that this government does? We plenty of resources for married couples who cannot afford a child. Food stamps and low income housing is availible for those who qualify . I don't know how you go about doing it. Or , if your freinds are really , really not ready there is always the option for adoption. I am serious. There are so many couples out there that have been waiting years to have a child and can only adopt or be foster parents. Please try to convince your friends that the life that she has growing inside or her deserves a chance at life outiside the whom.
Reply:there is ADOPTION!
Reply:I think that if they really don't want the baby, to put it up for adoption. That is always a great option in my book. If she really doesn't want to kill her baby, then that would be my suggestion to you and her.
Reply:The first thing that comes to my mind is if they are in such a bad financial place, why weren't they more careful? There are a ton of birth control options out there. Accidents happen, I understand that, but abortion is not the only answer. Adoption is a perfectly acceptable alternative and that way, they are not killing a child that has no say so in the circumstances under which it was conceived.
Reply:Tell her that there are places that can help her get the stuff she requires at a discounted price, or even free.


A child is as expensive as you make it. If you want to buy the most expensive nappies and the clothes that cost the most, the latest designer cot and stuff like that, yes it will be too much, BUT if they get things second hand and ask for things on groups like freecycle, they will find that things can and will be given by others who maybe have too much, or their children have outgrown things...


I thought that we would struggle when my partner and I both lost our jobs- me because I was passing out and I was a liability, and him because of poor health- a suspected brain tumour- it was a worry. But friends and neighbours and family all helped out, and our daughter hasn't cost a great deal.
Reply:what she can do is give the child up for adoption. She can start right now and look for potential adoptive parents that way later in life if she wants to she can look for that child and explain the reason why it was put up for adoption.
Reply:They should of been more careful. If they do not have enough money to raise the baby themselves then why dont they put the baby up for adoption so another family that cant have a baby can have one.
Reply:dont have a abortion . there are plenty of willing couples that would want to pay them to adopt a child. have them check into that and then all their hospital expenses are taken care of plus all the medical is taken care of and everything else. their baby would go to a much needed and loved home and wouldent end up in a garbage pile somewhere.
Reply:OK first off they can go the Department of Public assistance and apply for medical insurance for her and the baby. Now they will need confirmation of her pregnancy from the doctor's office.


Their state id's and social security cards and also need to know who much they make on a weekly to bi-weekly basis.





There are even websites that they can visit that can offer assistance I mean everything from insurance to clothing and other items that they might need for the baby. There is hope they just need to decide for sure if the baby is what they both want. If they are unsure then they can consider adoption rather than an abortion I think that every life deserves a chance.





I really think you should tell your friend the advantages of being a mother and the joys of it. I had my now 5 year old daughter at 15. I had no husband or her father to help me financially and yes it's hard but you appreciate the experience all the more once you survive it.





I wish your friend luck and congratulations to her!





Charlie
Reply:DO NOT let her give up the baby for abortion!!!! the baby is another human life who deserves to live.


suggest adoption. there are many people looking for a baby because they cannot have their own. but please please PLEASE do not let them kill the baby!
Reply:I would tell her to follow her heart. It is not always about finances and sometimes having a baby can help you learn how to budget your money better. Having a child is a serious committment, but abortion is not fair just because you do not have money. and there is also family that can help with childcare and things like that. And a lot of programs like WIC and women's centers that help with certain things. I would encourage both of them to sit down and evalutate the situation and not to rush to the clinic because they might regret it and GOD might not bless them with another opportunity to bring a special gift into this world.
Reply:let her decide, and support her no matter what
Reply:Well, the first question is, Is adoption out of the question? If you plan on adoption, the adopting family will pay for all medical expenses and can legally help out with other expenses. They can not just pay the mom straight out, but at least she would get some help.





What about the costs of an abortion? They are expensive, and there are instances that they do not get the entire embryo at one time and have to go in again, or she will have a deformed child.





What will happen emotionally? She will probably feel extremely guilty if she aborts. She will probably cry anytime that she says that she can't afford to do something, go somewhere, sees baby clothes, or sees a baby. There may be tension between them because of this. Most women go through a deep depression for the rest of their lives along with guilt. How is her husband going to be with her when she is going on her 2nd year of depression with no end in sight. Will she blame him when he gets upset at her constantly being upset with her depression? How will she feel if she tries to get pregnant later on and can't because there is scar tissue (it happens very rarely, but still happens).





There are quite a few programs out there that help with the financial side of things if she decides to keep the child, but the hubby needs to agree. Do a budget, show where they will get help and with what.





I have done all three (kept my son when I was 18, adopted a child out at 19, abortion at 21, Surrogate at 22) Feel free to give her my email address (buttrfly52@yahoo.com) if she has any questions or needs any help along the way. I have done pregnancy counseling for the last 3 years. Everyone is entitled to their own decision, as long as it is an informed one.
Reply:If they cant afford the baby she should adopt the baby out to a family that can not have children. Some adoption agencies have wonderful programs set up so the birth parents can receive update letters and photos of the child if they want that. It will make them feel great to know they gave their child a life they may not have been able to give him/her.
Reply:There are millions of "unplanned" pregnancies in this world, and if everyone aborted their children because of that, or the fact that they don't have the money, we'd have virtually no children on this planet. I don't in any way, think an abortion is the appropriate solution to this problem. If they are married, in a loving and committed relationship, they will find a way to work this out. Adoption would be the best answer if they really don't want to raise this child.





I'm a currently 20 weeks pregnant with an "unplanned" pregnancy..and I am also married. I am also, as I write this, sitting in a hospital bed with 2 ruptured disks in my back and I'm undergoing spinal surgery tomorrow morning. I am scared to death because I lost a baby at 19 weeks just this past December. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, as I could lose this baby in the blink of an eye; but, I've also been in the hospital for 21 days and I can't walk without the surgery. It's hard for me to sit here and think that a married couple would abort a child because they can't afford it. I can't WALK right now, and I'm still praying to God every day I don't lose this baby!!!





I hope they make the right decision and give it up for adoption. There are too many people in this world that want babies and can't have them, and for them to get rid of theirs because they think they can't afford it is despicable. Maybe they should use the money for the abortion to get one of them sterilized instead.
Reply:There is always adoption, if she goes through with the abortion and has bad sideffects requiring regular dr visits, will they be able to handle/afford that? If they are that bad off financially, there are usually organizations that can help with some of their needs, diapers, formula, even WIC. But if they put the baby up for adotion, they can still see the baby if they are able to find a family willing to keep them in contact.





Good luck
Reply:it's really not cheep, in CA you cant get 100 diapers for 20 bucks. if they dont have the money then thay can adopt it out or abort it. either way you go it's going to be Very Hard, emotions run wild with pregnancy so tell her to stop and think about it before she does anything.
Reply:They say it costs a million dollars to raise a baby now adays - up until the age of 18.


It all depends on what their views on abortion are. Is it right or wrong?


If she is healthy, she needs to consider adoption. Many families are desperate for babies, and they sometimes are open to the birth parents getting updates from the new family.





Babies and children are expensive. There are so many people out there that shoudln't do it. The child can have a better life somewhere else, and that is what is important.





With the money they save, he could get snipped!
Reply:abortion is murder. it's not the baby's fault that the parents do not have a lot of money, there are tons of people who cannot have kids that would love to adopt a baby...ask your friend this; what if her child is the person who was supposed to cure cancer, or some other life threatening disease?
Reply:My wife and I had the abortion for that very reason-and it still haunts us. We finally had a child last year and while it is expensive I wouldn't trade it for the world. If they really don't think they can handle it-the state will help out with everything up to delivery and adoption is an option after the birth. My cousin can't have kids due to a badly prescribed medication in her youth. People like her would love to have a kid!
Reply:hey i have 2 kids and let me tell you that they mean every thing to me an i would do anything for them.but tell her that if she and him are not ready then dont have an abortion cause she can put the baby up for adoption cause there are people put there that cant have kids and they will be more than welcome to take the baby in! and it is wrong to kill a child when it wasnt the babys fault so tell them to give the baby a chance at life and if they dont want the baby then like i said tell them to give it up for adoption dont hurt the baby it wasnt the little ones fault.
Reply:well were did the money come from to get the abortion?
Reply:Dear friend, I am a person who is adopted. Please let them know that adoption is a great choice, as I'm alive, have a family of my own, a new house and am here to respond to this question. On the other hand, women do regret their abortions (silentnomoreawareness.org). Your friends can get support and information at a pregnancy resource center, which they can find by googling optionline, or call 1800afamily. Also, Gabriel Project may provide some material assistance. Please encourage them to take care of their baby by keeping him or her, or by giving him or her for adoption. Sincerely, Runner
Reply:well.. in my opinion if i was in that circumstance, i would have the baby and give it up for adoption only because i know soooo sooo many people that try to have a baby and cant, and want to adopt.


There are great places for even FREE maternity insurance to take care of all expensises for delivery and prenatal care so they wouldnt spend a dime on dr. visits and what not...


Tell her to look in her heart, and see if she can afford to love another human being that she created, or if not then let someone else have the chance...
Reply:if they really are that low income, then they can get assistance from the state. my friend had no income %26amp; had a baby on her own. the state medical insurance paid the entire cost of prenatal %26amp; birth. she never got all the fancy stuff for the baby, just a car seat, cradle, diapers, clothes from a 2nd hand store, toys. she breast fed. it doesn't have to be so expensive.

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